Here’s the truth: I don’t consider myself a thought leader when it comes to DEI conversations. It’s not because I lack knowledge—I’ve spent years learning and engaging in these discussions. But I also recognize that many voices, particularly those from marginalized communities, have only recently been given the space to be heard. As a white woman who grew up in a low-income, diverse community, I believed my role was to create space for others rather than take up space myself. I thought I was doing the right thing.

Not only that, but DEI has become a politically charged topic, and as someone in the public eye, I’ve been conditioned to avoid political discussions. I also understand the psychology behind it. Humans naturally resist change—especially when it challenges long-held beliefs. The concept of motivated reasoning explains why people tend to interpret information in a way that aligns with their existing worldviews rather than challenge them. In short, DEI makes people uncomfortable because it forces them to confront systemic inequalities that they may not have personally experienced.

But over the past month, the news cycle, local policy changes, and personal conversations made it impossible for me to stay silent. I found myself witnessing people I care about deeply being hurt by the very shifts meant to promote fairness. I had an opinion. I had a perspective. I tried to push it aside, but then something happened in my own community that became the breaking point.

A person within an organization I’m part of proposed changing the DEI Committee back to the “Equal Opportunity” Committee. The tone of their email, combined with their social media posts, dripped with bias. I knew I had to respond. Below is part of what I wrote.

My Response

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“Hello,

I know DEI can be a topic that sparks discussion, and I want to approach this conversation with honesty, heart, logic, and reason.

The shift from Equal Opportunity to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) wasn’t about abandoning fairness or individual merit—it was about expanding the conversation to acknowledge and embrace the richness of our industry and the communities we serve. DEI is not about replacing Equal Opportunity; it’s about making sure opportunity is truly accessible to all—something that hasn’t always been the case due to systemic and historical barriers. The history of real estate reflects this reality—from redlining to exclusionary zoning, homeownership was intentionally made harder for certain groups. Books like The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein detail these injustices and how they still impact communities today. Don’t worry if you were unaware of this, I sent a copy of the book to your office!

I understand that Equal Opportunity and Equity are often used interchangeably, but they are distinct concepts that work together. Equal Opportunity ensures that discrimination is prohibited and that everyone has access to the same opportunities, which is essential. However, equity recognizes that while the doors may be open, not everyone has had the same path to reach them. While Equal Opportunity removes barriers, Equity ensures that the playing field is truly level—so that individuals from all backgrounds can compete fairly, succeed, and thrive.

To me, diversity is not just a policy or an ideology—it’s people. It’s the many voices and perspectives that have shaped my career, my friendships, and the way I see the world. Some of the most meaningful relationships I’ve built in real estate have been with people whose backgrounds and life experiences differ from my own. Those relationships have not only made me a better professional but also a better person.

Equity is about ensuring that no one is left behind simply because the starting line wasn’t the same for everyone. It’s recognizing that while talent and hard work are universal, access and opportunities have not always been.

As real estate professionals, we are entrusted with helping people achieve the dream of homeownership. Fair Housing is not just a law—it’s a commitment to ensuring every person, regardless of background, has access to the same opportunities to build wealth, security, and community. DEI strengthens this commitment by addressing not only legal fairness but also the underlying disparities that continue to affect access to housing, lending, and economic mobility.

Inclusion is what makes a room feel welcoming rather than just open. It’s the difference between simply being allowed in a space and truly belonging there. And belonging matters—because when people feel valued, they thrive.

I always encourage those who struggle with the concept of DEI to be self-reflective and ask themselves, ‘What word do I have an issue with? Is it Diversity, Equity, or Inclusion?’

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Why This Matters

I did continue the email, inviting them to a DEI meeting or even just a coffee chat to discuss. I believe that most people want to be heard, and sometimes, resistance comes from a lack of understanding rather than true opposition. I also recognize that DEI efforts have not always been executed well. Many organizations reduced it to race or sexual orientation, failing to address the full spectrum of inclusion. I’ll admit—I’ve been guilty of this too.

For years, I focused on creating space for people of color or the LGBTQ+ community (which, ironically, I am part of, as a bisexual woman). I believed in giving the microphone to those who had long been silenced. But through this experience, I’ve realized that allyship sometimes requires more than just stepping aside—it requires speaking up.

After sending my email, one of my best friends, a Black woman, hugged me and cried. She couldn’t even finish reading before the emotion overtook her. She told me, “I’m exhausted from all of this.” Another friend, aware of my concerns about being perceived as a “white savior,” (her words),  reassured me that there are moments when using my voice is necessary.

I understand other perspectives, unless they come from a place of hate. I can’t stand hate.  I wish we lived in a world where DEI training wasn’t needed—where fairness was instinctive, and equality was the default. But we don’t live in that world. And I don’t foresee us living in that world anytime soon.

The Path Forward

What we need more than anything is conversation. Constructive, uncomfortable, and sometimes messy conversations. We need to acknowledge that every single person carries biases—implicit bias is a well-researched psychological phenomenon that shapes our perceptions without us even realizing it. Instead of pretending these biases don’t exist, we should confront them with curiosity and a willingness to grow.

I wish the person who emailed me had taken me up on my offer for coffee. I wish they had come to see what our DEI committee actually does, rather than assuming the worst. But I also understand that change takes time.

For those who are skeptical of DEI, I invite you to ask yourself: What about this makes me uncomfortable? What am I afraid of losing? Because true equity doesn’t take away from anyone—it ensures that no one is left behind.

And for those who are exhausted from carrying the weight of these conversations—I see you. I hear you. And I stand with you.

Because at the end of the day, this is about something bigger than a name change on a committee. This is about people. And people deserve better.

Final Thoughts

I may not always know the perfect words to say. I may stumble. But I will not be silent.

Because conversations—real, meaningful, and sometimes difficult conversations—are where change begins.