Professionalism: Beyond the Suit and Tie

When I first entered the real estate world, I was told repeatedly to “look the part.” It wasn’t just about being knowledgeable or competent; it was about pant suits, blazers, manicures, and a certain look that, frankly, didn’t feel like me. I dressed in all black most days, trying so hard to fit the image others expected of a professional in my field. I thought, “This is what it takes to be successful, right?”

But as time went on, I started to lean into my own style—something that looked and felt more like me. And here’s the thing: I didn’t lose business. In fact, the opposite happened. My clients saw me, the real me, and connected with that. However, my peers didn’t always see it that way. When I accidentally dyed my hair magenta (it was supposed to be a dark purple!), I was met with lectures, not just about the hair but about what I was “putting out into the world.”

These conversations weren’t malicious; they came from a place of wanting to help, but they stung. Was my appearance really diminishing my integrity, my knowledge, or my professionalism? The more I leaned into feeling like myself, the more my confidence—and my sphere of influence—grew. This became even more true post-2021, when I fully embraced my journey of self-confidence and personal growth. I learned how to dress in a way that suited my shape and personality, and it’s like a new me was born. My style became brighter, more colorful, and fully reflective of who I am. With this newfound confidence came even more opportunities to share what I had learned.

Yet, not everyone has accepted this evolution. The same people who once pulled me aside to discuss my appearance no longer engage with me as much. It’s as if dressing more like a “kindergarten teacher” makes them question my capabilities, which, at times, hurts. But the truth is, I’ve met people who wear leggings and t-shirts that carry more professionalism in their kindness and work ethic than some who are dressed in suits. One person, in particular, had such an issue with my appearance that they even spread rumors behind my back. It’s hard, but these experiences taught me that true professionalism isn’t about what’s on the outside.

What Professionalism Really Means

I’ve come to understand that professionalism isn’t about pant suits, polished shoes, or neatly manicured nails. I define professionalism as being ethical, having integrity, being accountable for your business, and always striving to grow and learn. It’s about how you treat people, whether you’re showing up in a suit or jeans.

One story that stands out happened when I was serving on the NAR Meetings and Conference Committee. We were reviewing marketing materials, and someone from New England said, “Can we not have the person in jeans and a t-shirt as part of the advertising? It’s so unprofessional!” Before I could process it, another committee member from North Dakota chimed in, “I’m sorry, but if you expect me to show property in a suit, you’ve got another thing coming. Every day, I’m in jeans and boots, and I connect with people just fine.” That moment, shared with my now friend Jill, completely shifted my perspective. Professionalism doesn’t come from what you wear; it comes from how you conduct yourself.

The Power of Being You

Here’s one of my favorite examples of how authenticity can be your greatest asset: During the holidays, I love dressing up in a different holiday outfit every day in December. It’s a fun tradition, and if you know me, you know that I fully commit to the theme. One day, I got a last-minute call to show a house and, instead of changing, I asked the client, “Is it okay if I’m still in my outfit of the day?” They agreed, probably not knowing what to expect. I showed up dressed as a gingerbread woman. The husband laughed, and the wife exclaimed, “Oh my gosh, I LOVE YOU!” We connected instantly, and that moment of authenticity forged a relationship that went beyond business.

Professionalism is often tied to confidence—confidence in your abilities and confidence in who you are. When you show up as your authentic self, clients see you as a human being, not just someone checking boxes off a list. They trust you because they know you.

It’s More Than Just Clothes

I’ve learned that you don’t need to sacrifice who you are to be professional. For me, dressing in a way that feels authentic and empowering makes me better at my job. I know when it’s time to put on my more formal business attire, but even then, I keep my bright colors and personal touches that make me feel good. The key is understanding that while there are boundaries to what’s appropriate, true professionalism comes from the way you treat others, the integrity you show in your work, and your commitment to learning and growing.

Ultimately, professionalism is about trust, respect, and kindness. It’s the way you handle difficult conversations, the care you take with clients, and the empathy you show to others. It’s not about the suit you wear but the person inside it.

Conclusion: Be Confident, Be You

I want anyone reading this to feel empowered to be themselves. When you are confident in who you are, others will see it too. Your clients will work with you because they know you, like you, and trust you. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t judge someone’s professionalism based on their appearance. There’s a time and place for everything, and as long as you show up with integrity and kindness, you’ll always look the part.